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Commercial for Penguin no Mondai (Penguin’s Problems): The World. “The ultimate secret base! The ultimate mission! The ultimate penguin world! All in your hands!” And then a penguin emerges from a port-a-potty.

This game is the second release from Konami based on the Penguin no Mondai anime. Konami calls it a “battle life communication game.” There’s no reason to believe it’s any good, being a licensed DS game!

Speaking of games that I don’t believe to be any good, Konami also posted an ad for Zac and Ombra: Amusement Park of Illusion, a game I didn’t think much of when I played it at TGS. Nice animation, though.

Import: Penguin no Mondai: The World

See also: More imports

The Four Warriors of Light: Final Fantasy Gaiden boxart.

This is a sharp departure from the series’s usual packaging, though this is also an uncommon Final Fantasy game. I really like this art! Just don’t count on seeing it when (if) Final Fantasy Gaiden shows its face in the States.

Also, man, these kids are pale. It’s like a party of albinos.

Preorder import: Hikari no 4 Senshi: Final Fantasy Gaiden

See also: Final Fantasy Gaiden battle clip

[Via Neo2046]

Three minutes of petting in Love Plus before, finally, a kiss.

That’s a lot of work to put in for such a passionless peck with a virtual girlfriend. Real talk, I’ve seen dudes get more action kissing their grandmothers goodbye.

You can enter into these “skinship” modes in Love Plus when your date hints that she’d like a close moment with you, but you have to make sure that there aren’t too many people watching you (represented with flickering icons). Once you’re in the skinship mode, you have touch or slide your stylus on different spots to lower her guard.

The girl will then pose herself to indicate where she wants you to place your lips. If she looks downward a little, she wants you to kiss her forehead, and if she has her head tilted downward a lot, she’s hoping you’ll kiss her hair (wtf). If she’s looking right at you with her eyes opened, she only wants a smack on her cheek.

It’s a lot of hassle for digital lips that you can’t even taste, keeping in your memory. The last time I exchanged a first kiss, I just put on some Viva Voce, told the girl we’d have to stop seeing each other because she was married, traced my thumb on her jaw, and took what I wanted. I didn’t have to play some Ouendan-type shiz just to kiss her hair.

It’s an obvious conclusion, but love isn’t as rewarding when your paramour was programmed by Konami (though I’m sure many Metal Gear Solid fanboys would disagree).

Import: Love Plus

Square Enix's cursed DSiWare games»

Holy crap, this game looks crazy difficult.

Square Enix plans to bring its Nanashi no Game horror series to Japan’s DSiWare service next week in the form of two releases, Saikyouyoko Square Action Vol. 1 Noroi No game Chi and Vol. 2 Noroi No Game Dake, which loosely translates as Extreme Misfortune Side Square Action Vol.1 Cursed Game Blood and Vol.2 Cursed Game Prison.

These two games, both priced at 500 Nintendo Points, are based on Nanashi No Game Me’s platformer, in which you jump your way through levels packed with falling platforms and guillotine blades, likely all acquired at a recent sale held by an execution surplus store.

Square Enix split the game in two for some reason, that reason probably having something to do with stuffing its pockets with crazy bucks. Unfortunately, the company didn’t announce a DSiWare version of the cursed RPG from Nanashi No Game Me, but maybe Square Enix is saving that for its Extreme Misfortune Side Square RPG series.

Oh, and Nintendo also plans to release five Face Training Mini games to DSiWare in Japan next week, each priced at 500 Points and each using the system’s cameras to help pretty up your mug with different face exercises. I was wondering when Intelligent Systems would finally port Otona no DS Kao Training to the DSi!

Import: Nanashi no Game, Nanashi no Game Me

[Note: Video is from Nanashi no Game Me’s retail edition]

Love Plus Official Guide. Konami’s dating sim ships in Japan this week, with this strategy guide coming later in the month to salvage your strained relationship.

The tiny text on the cover reads, “Always in love… 365 days. Feel this love every day and night. You can see the endless love story. Love Plus.” The 256-page guide holds your hand through a year’s worth of courtship, so you don’t embarass yourself on these virtual dates (Protip: Don’t spend the entire night talking about your last dating sim sweetheart).

It reminds me a lot of the Health and Physical Education for Over Thirty books, except for a fake girlfriend!

Famitsu’s reviewers handed out positive scores for Love Plus (8/9/7/8 - 32/40); I’ve pulled a few quotes from Canned Dogs’s translation of their comments:

“If you don’t mind the trouble and can keep playing the game, the number of things you can do with the girl is immense and you can go on forever.”

“The slightly reluctant kiss had me completely absorbed in the game next thing I knew.”

“It kinda makes me happy how a casual comment can make the girl try to change herself to fit your own tastes. “

“It’s really good how the girl will slowly change her character and her appearance to fit your tastes.”

The last two remarks worry me — while it’s not unusual for a female to transform herself into someone she feels will better attract a particular guy or girl, I wonder if the game demands that same neccessary compromise from players.

If Love Plus doesn’t have that give-and-take, I’d consider the game a dangerously inaccurate simulation of a healthy relationship (though carrying on a year-long romance with a digital school girl is already unlike anything anyone would describe as healthy).

Preorder import: Love Plus

Sakura Note Japanese trailer. As with Contact’s visual style, this “nostalgia-twinged” game from Audio Inc. features what looks like 16-bit sprites dropped over detailed pre-rendered environments. Looks great!

As a conscript of the Contact Defense Force, I love everything Audio’s shown from the game so far — except for the boxart, which I wish looked like the site’s art:

I’m willing to excuse it, though, if the game really does let you play from the dog and cat’s perspective, as hinted around the 01:12 mark. I also like that you get to hop on a train — I love it whenever any game lets you ride some form of mass transit, an irrational fetish that dates back to my affair with Shadowrun for SNES.

Can anyone figure out the combat system, so we can see if Audio learned from Contact’s failings?

[Via Remoon, Famitsu]

Maestro: Jump in Music’s new trailer. Notice that Pastagames added indicators to the tightrope/strings that let you know when you should strum. Neat!

The singing bit around 1:18 warmed my usually bleak heart, so I’m less upset now about the studio cutting the planned multiplayer mode (it may reappear in a possible sequel).

Still no word on whether Maestro has a U.S. publisher. :o/

[Via GoNintendo]

Aa Mujou Setsuna (Oh Heartless Moment), Arika’s DSiWare shoot’em up releasing in Japan next week.

Priced at 500 Nintendo points, this original title from the Ketsui: Death Label developer includes a Pattern mode with set routes for enemies, a Random mode with random enemy routes, a Record mode for tracking stats, online leaderboards, replay videos of your best playthrough, and an option to download replays from the top 10 players.

Here’s another clip showing Aa Mujou Setsuna’s second ship option, which has a narrower shot spread:

Other Japanese DSiWare releases scheduled for next neek include two music apps from Intelligent Systems, both priced at 200 Points: Nintendo DSi Instrument Tuner for tuning instruments with the DSi mic; and Nintendo DSi Metronome for keeping a beat/tempo.

Both are priced at 200 Points and come with cute minigames. Instrument Tuner has Tuner Fight, in which you pop balloons by playing notes written on the balloons. Metronome gives you Donkey Metronome, which has you clapping to the beat to help Mario jump over Donkey Kong’s barrels. It looks really fun!:

Other DSiWare news you can use:

Nintendo Power revealed TMNT: Arcade Attack, a two-player co-op beat’em up styled after the NES/SNES/Arcade games with eight levels.
Nintendo Power also says its next issue will have a “major” DSiWare announcement that will “make many of you very, very happy”.
Australia’s classification board rated Dragon Quest Wars — expect to see this simple strategy game in other Western territories soon!
Nintendaan uploaded a video showing all of Japan’s DSiWare releases during August.

Phew, that was a lot of stuff for this DSiWare roundup!

Buy: U.S. Matte Black and Blue DSi

Import: Japanese Nintendo DSi (White, Black, Pink, Red, Lime Green, Metallic Blue)

[Via Kotaku, NeoGAF, Andriasang, Nintendo]

Tiny Contest: Birthday Bounty

With a year of posts now under our belt, we wanted to host a contest that outclassed our previous giveaways and reward readers with the same junk they come here to read about every day. So, to bring in our second year, we offer you two import sequels you might recognize:

Our inventory of prizes (one item per winner):

Game Center CX 2, the Japanese sequel to Retro Game Challenge with 11 new knock-off games
Shiren the Wanderer DS 2, which you can pair with this fan translation patch in development if you have the right homebrew hardware
Dragon Quest IX DS Lite and DSi accessories
Maybe more? (Follow us on Twitter for details soon)

To win one of the items, just leave a worthwhile comment in this post or in any posts following this one some time before next Wednesday September 2nd, 11:59 CDT. You can enter as many times as you’d like! Please try not to clutter our site with the kind of comments that a crap dude would leave. Nobody likes a crap dude.

Thanks again for keeping up with our little site. Good luck with winning one of these prizes!

Professor Layton’s London Life, the 100-hour RPG included with the puzzle series’s fourth game Professor Layton and the Devil’s Flute, releasing in Japan this November. Meanwhile, we’re just getting the second title!

Players unlock London Life after completing the main game, exploring the alternate/fantasy London that the Professor and his friends inhabit.

The RPG portion is developed by Brownie Brown, who you might recognize as the studio behind Magical Starsign and one of the contributors to Mother 3. London Life actually started out as a mobile game intended for Level-5’s ROID service in Japan.

Brownie Brown and Level 5 are also working on another DS project that looks an awful lot like Mother 3:

Titled Fantasy Life, the game isn’t a traditonal RPG, as it’s focus isn’t on combat. Andriasang’s description:

“You start the game off by creating your own avatar, going through a character create process which lets you set name, gender, physical appearance, and ‘Life’, the latter being the game’s name for your in-game job. Your choice of one of the game’s 20 lifes affects how the game plays out for you.

Each type of life requires that players undertake certain so-called ‘Life Quests’, which are quests that must be cleared daily. Once you’ve progressed through the game as one of these lifes, you’ll end up seeing what Level-5 refers to as a ‘small ending’. …

As you play through the game, you’ll have to keep track of your character’s ‘Rich’ and ‘Happy’ levels. Richness is a currency, reflecting your physical wealth. Happiness is a value which reflects how much heart you have. Raise your happiness, and you’ll find that you’re able to speak to people who might have not spoken to you before.”

You can see more screenshots and art from Fantasy Life at Level-5’s official Japanese site.

Maestro releasing for DS, DSiWare

Parisian outfit Pastagames hasn’t yet announced a U.S. publisher for its very promising rhythm platformer Maestro: Jump in Music, but Neko Entertainment hopes to release it for the DS in Europe sometime during the third quarter of 2009 (in the next month or so, then?).

The developer will later port a condensed version of the game to DSiWare with a planned price of 200 Nintendo Points. iPhone and iPod Touch are also in the works — I suspect the App Store will receive the full retail version.

The DS game includes 18 tracks/stages and 7 boss fights. Though I remember single-cart multiplayer modes were initially announced (as well as beat-box and chorus modes), the company now says it’s saving multiplayer for a potential sequel due to budget concerns. :o(

If you haven’t heard of Maestro, by the way, make sure you get familiar with this wonderful trailer:

Buy: U.S. Matte Black and Blue DSi

Import: Japanese Nintendo DSi (White, Black, Pink, Red, Lime Green, Metallic Blue)

See also: Maestro! Jump in Music trailers

[Via Gamespot, GoNintendo, PlanetDS]

8-bit Professor Layton theme by Nonsak.

I feel guilty for not talking about Diabolical Box as its U.S. release approaches (this week!), so here’s a video to make up for it. It’s actually based on the third game in the Layton series, The Last Time Travel, but I wasn’t going to wait until 2011, when Nintendo of America will likely bring this over, to share the clip with you.

I have no idea what’s going on in this video; maybe JC or any of you with translating skills can figure it out? I imagine that cat lineup part is some sort of puzzle.

Import: Professor Layton and the Last Time Travel

Preorder: Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box

[Via Nico Video]